Pole anniversary – May 2015 (term 3)
Rewind 4 years and I was a very different person to the one I am now. I was suffering from depression and had terrible anxiety. I was taking a lot of medication during this period.
I cut all my friends and family off and became very reclusive.
I knew this was wrong and I didn’t want to feel like this any more but this was also my coping mechanism, my safe place/space.
Eventually I decided to slowly make an effort to change things.
I was trying to remember what makes me happy and feel good too. I wanted to be active… but how?! The gym is last place I wanted to go.
I remember I had done a pole beginners course at Suzie Q in Parramatta years ago and I loved it but I stopped for whatever reasons back then.
So I started looking for a pole studio near work and I came across Bobbis – it was one block away – convenient. I was super nervous. A depressed 30 year old with anxiety and no confidence plus I had put on weight as a result of my medication and from all the comfort food I was eating… but you gotta start somewhere.
I booked into beginners on Friday at 5:15 with Roxy.
I showed up to my first class in bike shorts and a long singlet nervously waiting around like everyone else. As I looked around I thought… I’m too old for this. Im too fat for this… this is a mistake. Everyone seemed much younger and fitter than me. But I preserved.
Roxy sat us down and we did a lil meet and greet and that made me feel much better.
Gosh she was amazing. I wanted to know more… see more… watch more! I was instantly in awe. #girlcrush
Pole dancing was fun. It was energetic. It was challenging. For an hour I was transported to another place. Suddenly I was happy again and it felt good. But it was hard, I struggled. I thought about my weight and dieting and how I can dress to pole but hide at the same time.
But a few terms later, the age I was and the way I looked was such an after thought. There were so many different bodies and people of all ages with so many abilities. Plus when you start going upside down skin = life.
Fast forward to today.
I’m currently enrolled in the new Int 4, Int 3, Adv floorwork and pole grooves.
I always wonder when this will start to feel easy… but it doesn’t. It’s still hard and I still struggle and I still look around the room thinking I’m not the fittest or the strongest but the good thing about pole is that there are so many different classes / styles and levels. There’s something for everyone. I personally enjoy the choreography classes (pole grooves) but I’m enrolled in leveled classes too cos nailing that new move or an old nemeses is the most wonderful feeling.
I have been through the levels and back down the levels. Sometimes the journey is not so straight forward… but I’m enjoying the ride along the way.
Intro (int 5)
I have performed in 1 amateur night and 1 Christmas show and have signed up for my second amateur night this April.
When I first started and for a long time after I never in my wildest dreams thought I’d be on a stage doing my routine and show for any one… ever!